I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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