I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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