I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
