my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
