gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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