When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
