so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
