It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
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On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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