do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
