I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
