I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
