Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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