guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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