Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
