The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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