Whoa Z and x make the same sound
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
