I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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