i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't deserve a penis
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
