yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
