We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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