I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
