Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
