Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
