I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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