It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
