I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
