Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
