Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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