I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
