Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
