maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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