Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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