I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we made out on top of his cat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
