tell your sister to shave her snatch
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
