that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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