Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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