Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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