I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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