i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize