I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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