She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You're like the curious george of whores
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
