I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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