How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
