Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
