This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm too high and old for this...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
