I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
