I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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