Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
