don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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