If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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