New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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