Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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