They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All I want is dick and wine.
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