I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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