you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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