I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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