You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
