mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize