His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
