im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize