have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
