I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
