dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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