Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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