just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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