I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
