The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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