I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
