that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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