Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
