i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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